Ma,
I miss you so! I remember going to worship at Bishop TD Jakes Potter’s House in Dallas on September 10, 2017 and the worship encounter was so intense. You know that awesome service where all you can think of is that bomb meal afterwards and that slain in the spirit kind of nap that would follow and that’s exactly what happened. I remember turning over to get my second wind and your photo lit up my phone I was so excited and answered the phone with a giddy “heeeeey Ma” only to be surprised that it was someone else on the line, I immediately knew that something had happened.
My heart dropped in my belly as the unfamiliar voice asked if I were alone or with someone... "Sweetie my name is Tracey and your mom and I were best friends, (as I hung onto her choice of words) she then utters your mom has passed away". The screeching sound that escaped from me cutting through the peaceful state of rest within the house I began to wail and for a moment I believed I blacked out. See the dynamics of our relationship that Mother -Daughter relationship if you will had more downs than ups and something shifted when my grandmother passed away (just a year prior) and our spirits reached an understanding, as I was open to forgiveness and wanted to established something with you full and hearty. So we began weekly and sometimes daily phone conversations. You would send me cards and you didn’t know that Brandon and I were planning on surprising you at Christmas with a pop up. Only for you to receive the ultimate gift of transitioning from this realm to your final home.
Ma,
I hope you dance... a song that played everywhere I turned when you passed away so much so I took it as a sign that it was your way of communicating with me. So I understand now that every low place, the darkest of clouds on the brightest of days I hear you... I hope you dance.
When I feel so overwhelmed, and the grief of you and grandma and Bran has become unbearable I hear you... I hope you dance.
Thank you so much for watching over me, for loving me deeper even in death and giving birth to me even then not knowing I would survive... I hope you dance.
“And when you get the choice to sit it or dance... Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone...” -Lee Ann Womack
Wishing You A Heavenly Birthday Ma... You would be 69 years old today... Please continue to watch over me, give everyone a big hug for me... I’m trying to dance 🌷🌷🌷
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